so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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