oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
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Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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