It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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