It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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