I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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