Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
