I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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