In the future we'll all be gay
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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