omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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