I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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