lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
