just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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