I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
