Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
