My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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