Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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