I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
