"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Even my vagina gasped.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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