ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
