pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
