i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
