so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
