Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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