Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you made out with another girl for some wings
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
