I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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