The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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