She just used a chaser for red wine.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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