ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
