Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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