AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
