ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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