don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't turn off my feet"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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