And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
