Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You're like the curious george of whores
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
