My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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