im six kinds of drunk right now
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
