dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
