C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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