My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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