I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
