I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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