i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
