(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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