That's intense
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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