They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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