i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize