from now on my penis is your penis
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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