finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize