I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
and eventually we just all took our pants off
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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