Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
