Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
