just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
