Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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