You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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