she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
